Defining Proximity

It came to me the other day while thinking about my relationships with God and with my parents that these three are not the only people with whom I have a close link. First of all, though, here’s how it started. Have you ever asked yourself why we choose the word “closeness” to define the strength of a relationship? Your physical adjacency actually has nothing to do with it. We “feel” close to a person with whom we have a strong relationship, regardless of their location.

It’s a very accurate expression. Two friends can be separated by a span of many miles, and yet feel close. And a husband and a wife can be separated by a single stride and yet feel as distant as those two friends. It’s not about proximity. In the spirit realm there is no distance. At least, not distance as we’re accustomed.

I’ve mentioned before that when I was in Brazil I saw my dad. I’ve always had great relationships with both of my parents, and being gone from them for three months was among the hardest things I’ve ever done. And God helped all three of us through, but that very great emotion spawned an event that has stuck with me, and will for the rest of my life.

And it was a thought process like this that led me to my discovery. You see, to form a relationship like this takes work. You have to build it one brick at a time, one polite reaction at a time. It certainly doesn’t happen overnight. Through the years we have determined to be close. Some of my friends, for instance, still have terrible or lackluster relationships with their parents, and I simply didn’t want it.

I’ve also been working on my relationship with God. You shouldn’t accept Christ’s salvation and then straightaway forget about Him. He paid for your salvation in blood. You can have a close, personal relationship with Almighty God, the creator of the universe. That is such a neat thing on so many levels. It doesn’t have to be weird between you guys. I’ve got a relationship with the Father where I can just talk to Him … and He talks back! The Bible tells us that we can expect—and should expect—to be led by the Spirit of God. If you’re not following His direction for your life then you’re missing out.

But how do you hear from God? If you are (physically) close to a person, you can hear clearly what they say to you. If you are a few hundred feet away, it is more difficult to make out their words. The same is true here. If you are (spiritually) close to God, hearing Him becomes much easier. He could speak but a whisper in your ear and you’d clearly understand every word. That relationship doesn’t happen automatically; you have to work it.

And all of this is great, and this is what I’ve been meditating on for three or four days. I’ve been conscientiously focusing on keeping my relationship with God and my relationships with my parents in a forward-progressing mode. But the revelation I had yesterday is that you have another being you can create a relationship with: Satan.

Any time you react in anger, any time you react with prejudice, any time you react in irritation … any time you react in any way other than with the love of God, you’re tearing down your relationships with those you love, and you’re building your relationship with the devil. You’ve now created a spiritual proximity with Satan, and instead of hearing God’s voice, you’ll hear Satan’s. After all, he’s the one you’re closest to. That’s why so many Christians find it difficult to hear God’s voice.

Ephesians 4:23-27 (KJV)
23 And be renewed in the spirit of your mind;
24 And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.
25 Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another.
26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:
27 Neither give place to the devil.

We cannot give the devil one inch. Keep this in check. We all make mistakes, but if you do, go to that person and ask for their forgiveness. Then go to God and ask for His forgiveness. And don’t forget to forgive yourself, too. Don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s okay; only Jesus lived without sin. But don’t stop there just because you messed up; get right back on this, and you’ll see your relationships with the people you love soar to new heights.

~Jonathan

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March 6th, 2007 · Back to Top · Tagged: Articles, Relationships

Comments (4)

  1. Darlene

    I just wanted to say Thanks for always writing what i need to read at the time when i need it the most .

    I love you !!!!!!!!!

    On March 8th, 2007, at 8:16 am

  2. Jonathan

    You’re welcome. :o) I’ve been meditating on this for a few days now, and this article was probably 1% of the whole content. I’m probably going to expand this into microscopic posts for a little while, rather than stop at this macroscopic overview. It really doesn’t do the subject justice, but I couldn’t have put the whole content in one article. Online attention span is shorter than meatworld attention span.

    On March 8th, 2007, at 5:58 pm

  3. David M. Besonen

    for me, relationships are physically present.

    my mother has lamented about the fact that i live on the west coast of the u.s.a. (she lives on the east). she feels disconnected from me.

    of course she does. we never see each other in person. we _are_ disconnected in that way.

    nothing will change the fact that she’s my mother. however, the truth of the matter is is that she has a very limited understanding of who i am because we spend our time separately in different places. the check-out person in my local grocery store has a better idea of who i am today than my mother does because the check-out person and i see and interact with each other a couple times a week.

    so, yes, there is a quality of deep connectedness that you can hold in your heart for another (for all others for that matter). and there is a timelessness that you can experience when re-connecting with another you’ve been separated from for some time–of being able to slip right back into connecting with this person with whom you’ve been deeply connected to in the past.

    and there is also the depth of connection that arises from being with another person day in and day out, that ferments a quality of connection different from that feeling of closeness you may have with a person you rarely see.

    it’s through that daily living together that a profound trust is established. it’s through shared trials and joys that you come to a place where you know the other person almost as well as you know yourself. the result being an experience of deep deep ease and peace with each other that’s a function of your shared life experiences more than any loving ideas you have in your heart for each other.

    and should you part ways with someone with whom you’ve had daily shared experiences, while you may always feel a closeness with this person, the quality of connection with them where you know them deeply will fade. as they continue to grown and change in ways to which you are no longer privy since you are no longer sharing a daily journey with them.

    peace,
    david
    –
    P.S.
    Jonathan, thank you for your website writing and reflections. this entry in particular has given me an opportunity to reflect on what i enjoy about the long-term daily experiences i share with others.

    On May 27th, 2007, at 10:34 am

  4. Jonathan

    And thank you, David, for sharing your own experiences. It’s for this reason that I’m so glad I made a blog rather than a typical, one-sided website that simply tauts my own experiences and my own opinions. My favorite line you wrote was this one:

    and there is also the depth of connection that arises from being with another person day in and day out, that ferments a quality of connection different from that feeling of closeness you may have with a person you rarely see.

    I’m amazed at how little I know about “lifelong friends” I go to church with—and how little they know about me. People we smile at and pretend to be real close to, but the truth is we are complete strangers.

    I’ve recently started working with a man I’ve known for fourteen years. In retrospect, I never really knew him. But after two months of being with him “day in and day out”, I can safely say we now are genuine friends.

    On May 28th, 2007, at 1:59 am

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