Whatever

I’m continually amazed at the evolution of our language, which seems to happen much more rapidly than our own evolution. And as such we’re forced to relearn English every couple of decades. Take, for instance, the changes that have happened in English just since the late ’80’s. Case in point. But internationalization has only amplified the problem. The entertainment industries overseas, I’ve noticed, try to keep up with the fast-paced evolution of English, but sometimes the results are less-than astounding.

When I was in Brazil I ran across some rather humorous examples, and I was relating these to my sister last night. Whenever an actor on a television show uses the word “cool” or “awesome” or “righteous,” it’s simply translated “legal.” That is the catch-all phrase used in any such case. The literal translation of the word? “Legal.” As in, it’s legal to park here between 9 am and 5 pm. But, just as in any linguistic evolution, it has taken on a new meaning among the youth of Brazil.

One that hasn’t yet gotten its own interpretation, though, is “whatever.” And as often as this phrase is used on television, you’d think this would have been among the first. A few of us were looking for a replacement phrase for “whatever” and asked our interpreter what it would be. She said, confusingly, that the only thing she knows of is “qualquer coisa,” which actually means “anything.” But, nonetheless, we used this phrase as a stand-in since we had little option. And, yes, we received quite a few odd stares with it. But we were trying to start a movement here, people. Work with me.

There are a few words in English, though, which you’d probably agree should be eliminated, especially if you know what they really mean. While I was in Brazil, I went out to eat with three of my friends to a pizzeria. They were the only Brazilians I knew who spoke English (aside from my interpreter, of course), and were constantly asking me questions about the real meanings of English words. Well, this night Mary Grace recalled hearing a certain word on television the other day, and she quickly looked at the subtitles to see what it means. And she was ecstatic to tell us about it. “Jonathan!” she shouted, “I know what ’sucks’ means!” I practically choked on my pepperoni, and I bashfully looked around to see if anyone else there spoke English. She continued, “It means ‘toe jam.’” The rest of us were surprised, me for another reason. Mary Grace then looked at me and said, “Doesn’t it Jonathan. It means ‘toe jam,’ the stuff that gets between your toes.” To this I quietly replied, “Whatever.”

~Jonathan

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